Yes, that seems a bit backwards doesn’t it?
You generally see the saying “life and death” but because our kingdom is so backwards, well this inherently is as well.
Something pretty dramatic happened to me about a week ago. I’ve shared limited glimpses with a few around me, but in reality the depth of what I experienced, can’t even be explained in words.
I’m left only being able to show it with the remainder of what life I have left.
On June 1st, I started a journal, and found myself unable to write after merely putting down the date. So I’ll just share with you what I wrote a few days ago, and maybe in time, the depth of what I was shown, will make it’s way to “words”.
On June 1st, I wanted to start this. I wanted to explain – put down on paper what happened, but it is far past anything I can put on paper.
All I fully and truly know is that GOD IS. He truly and fully exists and the judgment is a real thing that WILL happen. In all of our existence, whether we believe it or not, it will happen. There is nothing to stop it. It is a fixed point in reality. I almost said a fixed point in time, but where it exists, there is no such thing as time.
It is a fearfully dreadful thing. Something that invokes a panic and fear so deep you know you merely stand doomed. There is no relief from it no way out, no hidden door or secret handshake. It is as much a fact as our own existence.
I just read Ephesians 4:1-3 and it pretty much sums up the “thesis statement” of what I saw. There was so much more, but I left knowing that I had no choice but to live the life my calling was worthy of. Before, I could give you mental assent that I knew, convince myself that I’d given true and full attention to it, and the next day go about as tho nothing had ever entered my mind. Since June 1st, it’s been the main thing on the forefront of my mind. I find myself looking through glasses that ask me whether this next thing I do, this next effort I take, is part of this or not.
In one moment we are standing naked with a plethora of our evil shown before us. We feel the full judgement of The Almighty on us and it crushes us. Then, without notice – nothing. There is literally… no thing.
Then suddenly a slide show of every life I had spoken into, every good thing I had done that was truly pure and without motive or want of attention. The distinct lightness of this contrasted with the weight of the evil was so evident. Had I had opportunity I would have been more than embarrassed, but utterly ashamed. My soul ached for the ability to do it all over again and more than balance this. Before I was able to even fully think such things, I was overwhelmed by peace.
Beautiful, deep, all encompassing peace unlike anything I have ever experienced. Not anything like we can even fathom. Not the earthly, “i have all the bills paid, money in the bank, food in the fridge, and I haven’t sinned in an hour” peace that we try to define our lives with. No, this was a peace that can only be described as an endless sea that flowed over, soaked into, and among EVERYTHING. It didn’t just exist. It encompassed. It’s mass was heavy yet weightless. Permeating but without physical being….
This is really all I can put to paper at this point… in time I will finish…
Until then, love well, live full, and breathe deeply.